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Unapologetically You, Unapologetically Me

We (usually) love and accept people as they are, now why can't we do the same for ourselves?

Oh how lovely it is to be around people you love. Your friends, family, loved ones. Meeting new acquaintances is also fun. You're usually open to this person as you get to know them. You don't mind their traits, the inner workings of their minds, you don't always know what fuels them. Still, you accept them as they are. But when it comes to us, and who we are, we change our ways to please others or are too hard on ourselves when we wouldn't be hard on others.

Compassion vs Self-Compassion

I did therapy for about three months (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to be exact) to get over some anxieties that shook me to my core after two consecutive car accidents. One of the main things I learned was that I greatly lacked self-compassion. I was told to do meditations on self-compassion and lacked so much self-compassion that I admittedly didn't even try to fix that about me. But could instead dedicate 12 hours a day to my employer without complaint.

The funny thing is, I am so over the top when it comes to being compassionate toward others. I feel extra when it comes to others. I go above and beyond for loved ones, so why not go ahead and do the same for myself?

The reason I bring this up, is I know others deal with this as well. So let's help each other out!

Here's how I've been practicing it:

  1. Affirmations: I am beautiful, I am capable, I am intelligent... you get the gist.

  2. Balance: Working out everyday & moving my body when it needs

  3. Taking breaks: okay I haven't been great at this, but I am to be better. This would result in taking a lunch, not over scheduling meetings, giving myself reasonable deadlines.

  4. Doing what brings me joy: books, shows, hobbies like paint by numbers or passion projects like this blog

  5. Not being so hard on myself: Reminding myself that if it didn't turn out the way I wanted, next time will be better

  6. Meditation & Prayer: Believing that I was created to be the best version of myself, but also that I am HUMAN!

  7. Transform your inner critic: aka change your perspective on the situation. It truly changes your world.

  8. Treating myself as I'd treat the person I love the most!: Working on this, but this includes, utmost kindness, generosity, going above and beyond, and making time for me!

We're all working on being better, and though we might not be perfect all the time, we must remember to give ourselves the grace and opportunity to fail sometimes. It's not the end of the world. We can focus on being better in the following moments.

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