Day 1: Pursuit of Happiness during Quarantine
Bienvenidos. I'm happy you're here. And quite frankly, I'm happy I'm here. I'd been wanting to start something during quarantine and made a whole lot of goals and the only thing I succeeded at was a whole lot of work. Today is day 164 of quarantine (no I didn't count it, I googled it.) That means it's been 164 days that I haven't created work boundaries for myself though it was my very first goal to accomplish. It's been something I've been struggling with for the past year as being Head of Content at a startup and my new storytelling app requires a lot of nurturing and care. 12 hours of my day every weekday to be exact. I thought this time would be the perfect excuse for me to finish editing my book--which a movie producer is waiting for, get my dream body, start my own publishing company, take the three different courses I spent thousands on, meditate everyday, and master my circadian rhythm and turn myself from night owl to early bird with a full 8 hours of sleep nightly.
What I did instead:
Here's what I did instead. Started and ended a relationship. Watched all of the Sopranos. Read 33 books in 11 weeks. (Okay two a week were audiobooks, but still.) Moved into a new apartment. Gave myself an eating disorder on accident. (What's the one where you don't eat?) Rewatched Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. Started writing 4 new novels. Gave myself anxiety over thinking I had corona virus. Started eating junk food for the first time since sophomore year of high school. Learned binge watching is the only way I watch something. (Must. Find. Out. How. It. Ends!) Found out I sleep 4 hours a night. (This whole time I thought I was good at math--Thanks Sleep Cycle!) And wrote down my new goals like 12x, no joke--accomplishing none which is completely unlike me. (Okay fine, one thing I stuck to this whole time was walking 2 miles a day. But that was because I made it a negotiable...I think I'm onto something.)
Which brings me to my point. Things are really weird right now, and you may not be your normal self. Which is why, for the first time in my life I am doing a tell all. Say what?! I know very unlike me, but fxck it because literally YOLO.
I am normally very composed, and care too much what people think, that this is probably the only time I'd allow something like this to happen because 1) it's day 164 of quarantine and 2) I'm really committed to making the best of this.
It really hadn't hit me too hard, as I'm pretty introverted, and care about my loved ones (and the future I've planned for myself since I was 9) enough to not see others or hug them. But then post break up, and the last few weeks I'd been feeling a little unsatisfied with myself. Kind of dissatisfied for not working on my own personal brand, my own writing, not having my dream bod, but also because I'm just a Type A personality that can't JUST be thriving at work (which I am, thank you very much) but also has to be fulfilling herself. *Bows* and this PYT was not fulfilling herself. (And I was trying, I was.) During those 6 weeks of singledom I felt very burnt out from books, binging content, and needed to GTFO. After all, summer heat had just started and this brown girl loves nothing more than endless beach days.
So just like every healthy breakup is supposed to inspire... I'm reinventing myself yet again. And you're here to witness it. For now at least.
This person I follow on IG and her podcasts, Jess Lively, says, "I don't know how long I'll do it for," or "I'll only do it for as long as makes me happy," and she's like an enlightened master that goes where she feels guided to. I love that she does that, and I'm here to do the same. I will only do this for as long as it makes me happy. (side note, when I was conducting my inspirational workshops this lady that seemed skeptical about all of my teachings told me I reminded her of Jess Lively, which was the ultimate compliment! That's how I discovered her. P.S. I ended up winning that skeptical lady over.)
Because I'll only do this for as long as makes me happy... I didn't want to completely revamp my personal website, etc, etc. I wanted something quick and easy, and super cute. I also didn't want to fully attach my name to it because I'm being so candid, raw, and silly because you know it's not normally my thang for public consumption. Yes, I'm an editorial director and I just used the nonexistent word meaning "thing." It's quarantine and only God can judge me. ;)
What I'm doing now:
Setting little bite sized goals, and do what I feel called to do. I recommend you do the same.
I decided to pull my goals apart and really focus on tiny improvements that will allow me not feel overwhelmed with all of my quarantine goals. I've realized that they’re hard to accomplish when I’m working so much and sleeping so little. Which results in feeling down on myself when I don’t accomplish what I set out to. Instead, I overcompensate and end up burning out.
As a solution, I decided to pull back and really give myself only three, and start at the basics.
1. Write everyday
2. Work my way to an 11 pm bedtime
3. Self care: ie, get my meditation game back, yoga, & working out daily
Take time to set your own intentions 💕 I recommend starting small and at the core for lasting results! Let me know how it goes for you! Good luck, wear your mask and stay healthy!